Noise in the Attic: I Was Not Prepared

When big things are going to happen in life we are often given a warning. Tornadoes come with sirens, hurricanes come with meteorologists in blue jackets giving 24 hour updates, and here in the South snow is proceeded by a frantic run on milk and bread at the grocery. We are very seldom surprised, so we search out adventure and thrill. We look for that adrenaline spike that comes with the sheer terror or joy of the unexpected. This morning all I had to do was walk out the front door, and my heart is racing like I just jumped from a plane.

Today was just a regular, calm morning like any other. I have no functioning kitchen as we wait for cabinet installation today. I have to get 4 kids out the door to school. I have family visiting. You know, just the usual. My husband left for work 2 hours ago, without excitement. The bus was 15 minutes early this morning, causing my kindergartner to get on the bus with shoes unfastened and coat in hand. I hadn’t really taken a calm step out the front door. So when the dust had settled I stepped out. To see our attic-condo inhabitant trapped above me. I was not prepared.

I thought ahead to the photos people would request (not knowing what they were really asking for) and snapped a quick picture with my phone. (I didn’t look at the trap directly…just pointed the phone and hoped it was close enough) Now I can’t look at my phone. I may have to throw it away. Is there a picture of a dead raccoon in my cloud forever?? Is there someone to call to take care of that? Can Joe handle it?? Wait, Joe! I have to call Joe!

When Joe answered I have to admit I felt a little awkward. It was before 8 am, and I was calling to tell him there was a dead animal displayed on the front of my home. But Joe handled my call like a pro and responded “I’ll be there later this afternoon to get him.” Perfect. Thanks, Joe. You ARE a real American Hero. It wasn’t until I hung up that I thought through what he had just said. AFTERNOON. After. Noon. It was PRE-MORNING! I don’t mean to be dramatic, but I need this thing down NOW! I’m nervous to look out my window in case the wind blows it into view.

I texted my friends because I needed someone to lose their cool with me. They all vowed to drive by my house to look. I tried to warn them they wouldn’t be able to un-see what I’d seen. But a few minutes later the first minivan slowly rolled past. We were not prepared.

In case you may have thought I was getting a little too fancy this week (new kitchen cabinets? Wow!) I have dead vermin on my roof…it’s official…we are the Beverly Hillbillies.